just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
