ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
