yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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