Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize