Please, let me fuck your mom
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
