yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
