So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize