Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
one might say we're banned from that church
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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