He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
