Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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