garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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