sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize