We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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