so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
