At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
