They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
