Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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