should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
