so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
