I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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