you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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