Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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