She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
