talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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