I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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