I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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