But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
