It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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