didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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