My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Im part way to drunk.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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