In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
