I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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