why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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