Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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