Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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