Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
