nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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