three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
