if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
