dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize