last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You can't motorboat a personality
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
