So drunk its hurt
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize