so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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