you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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