couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
