About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
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