TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
