Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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