SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
