Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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