so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
