you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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