Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
