is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
