No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
