lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
