I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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